Thoughts

This morning, while walking Bailey, I became acutely aware of Fall. It was very early -- 4:30am. So it was still dark and quiet. I love this time of the morning. As much as I love lounging in bed, I love the silence of the morning, the stillness. You can't get that in the evenings. There is always someone, somewhere making noise.

It hits me at odd moments that it is a Autumn. Having 90 degree days, sometimes makes it had to see. But there is a smell in the air, that seems to signify it more than anything else. Hmmm. Anyway, I like my morning walks. I just wish I could experience it all and then go back to bed. ;-)

C.

Coming Back

Hi! It has been so long -- too long. I wonder if anyone will even read this. Life got crazy and then it got good and then better. I should have looked at my last posts, but I didn't. It doesn't really matter.

Things are good. I am still in my same job -- and I am thankful for it -- even though I do want to do something different.

The something different has started. I am teaching yoga to kids. I rented a space and I am teaching once a week -- right now. I am also teaching clay classes to kids. I love both so much and they help me get through my day at the main job.

I started modeling too. No one big -- mostly people that do books or stock photography. But I love doing it -- being in front of the camera is such a rush.

Yoga for myself. I decided to do the 108 hour immersion for Anusara yoga in January. I am so excited, but I really need to amp up my yoga before it. I only practice between 3-4 times a week and I need to be at 6. Here we go.

Life is good. I have nothing to complain about. The hard period I went through was great. It proved to me how strong I am and also, that I don't want to be sad. I choose happiness and I won't let anyone or anything stand in my way.

Will be checking out others pages in the next week. Need to catch up with others lives.

Peace and Blessings,
C.

Busy Little Bee

Wow! Time is so flying by. I feel like I haven't sat still in weeks. There seemed like there was a time when I was home and on the computer or reading. Lately, I have just been gone. My house became this place where I came in to grab a snack, shower, change clothes, and sleep. It also became a bit of a mess. I finally cleaned up a bit, but it could use a real deep cleaning.

I have told myself to stay put. Do not leave the house Wednesday-Friday. I am going to try my best to stick to it, but its a holiday weekend. I have plans for Saturday and Sunday already, so I am hoping that Friday (which I have daytime plans for and dinner plans for) will be a quiet evening.

I had my first yoga kids class in two years. Two years! I can't believe it has been that long. Eleven kids are signed up. It was a fantastic first class. There is something so satisfying about doing what you were born to do. I was born to teach. Without a doubt.

I found a great place to get another set of classes going. This place is more central, so I will draw in different families. I want to rent the space for two days a week. I am starting small. Doing this -- teaching--makes it even harder to go to my "real" job. I am grateful to have the job. I need this job, but my heart and spirit crave something else -- something more. I am taking the steps I need to in order to figure all of this out and hopefully a change will be made in the near future. A change for the better. A change for happiness and continued growth.

xoxo

Weekend -- finally!

The week really went by fast, but today was slow. I am so glad for Friday and Saturday and Sunday and for a bit more Mondays. I really wish I could keep on this schedule with working two days from home, but it will come to an end July 31. Until then...

After working for trade at the clay co-op, I got to thinking where else I could trade my manual labor for something I need, enjoy, and can't afford -- YOGA! I emailed my studio a few weeks ago and asked if they did any kind of trade for classes. Yes, they do but they didn't have any spots available. Well, she emailed last week to tell me that a spot was open. I clean the studio on Friday afternoon for only two hours and I get UNLIMITED classes. A deal! I pay over $100 a month for classes and for two hours I can go to as many classes as I want. Life just got a bit sweeter and my body will be too in a minute!

Happy Friday!

Sugar Queen

I just finished reading a book by Sarah Addison Allen -- The Sugar Queen. I read one of her other books -- Garden Spells -- and loved it. I flew through it, but this one was a bit slower for me. Magic, still, the book kind of magic and ghosts, love of course. It was an easy read - a beach read. The next one on my list, or on my table, is by Chelsea Handler -- Are You There Vodka, It's Me Chelsea. I remember reading , Are You There God, It's Me Margaret, as a kid. I hear this is the adult version.

The clay is going well. I've made several lotus flowers, a cross, several what were suppose to be cylinders (these are on the wheel), and a cross. My next project in addition to more flowers --which are amazing--are wind chimes. The clay to me is so meditative. My hands feel the coolness of it and I am lost. I was speaking with a friend and telling him of my difficulties with meditation and when I explained my feelings to him -- he said that my hand building, my clay work is meditation. With the clay, I stop thinking. I am so focused, engrossed on what I am making that all else is gone. I love that feeling. No more mind.

When my mind stops, it is the best time of the day.

Beauty and Death

Renunciation
I live in the world afraid to lose anything
Take me to your world where I can lose
everything. ~ Rabindranath Tagore

This was the first piece that caught my attention in this book I am reading...On the Shores of Eternity: Poems from Tagore on Immortatlity and Beyond.

This book has struck a cord somewhere deep, deep inside of me. The poems are beautiful to the senses, soothing, and some sensual. He speaks of death like birth. Something to be welcomed and embraced. Like love...

A Stone Will Melt
I know what it will be like--
My pride will go to the wall
My life will burst its bonds in exceeding pain
And my empty heart will sob out in music like a hollow reed.

The stone will melt my tears
Because I can't remain closed to you forever
I can't escape without being conquered.

From the blue sky an eye will gaze down
To summon me in silence.
I will receive death utterly at your feet.

I know what it will be like.
~ Tagore (from the book I am reading)


Ecstasy. In my mind that is what it will be.

I filled up on books at the library. My mind races.

The meeting went well -- I met with a yoga studio about teaching. If all goes well, I will be teaching by the end of the month. Kid classes you want them to preregister so it will depend on getting the class full.

Maxine -- owner of the clay coop, thinks I could sell my lotus flowers. She said think about how to make them a bit faster. But she thinks there would be a market for them. Guess what I will be doing this weekend.

I feel conflicted and yet I feel like the heavens are about to open and pour something huge into my life. The feeling overwhelms me at times and I walk and walk. I am scared and excited.

Sting plays on my computer -- This is the Book of My Life...

xoxo
C.

Short and sweet

I am tired tonight. My body feels like one big ache! The photo shoot yesterday was physically exhausting and yoga tonight was tough.

I continue to enjoy working at home. It is a bit weird not speaking to anyone most of the day, but I prefer it to being in the office. I am also getting work done, more than in the office. That was the one thing I was worried about most.

I think the doctor just ordered a nice hot bath. Off I go...